Episode 135: Learning to Love Yourself in the Push and the Pause

Every once in a while, life slows you down just long enough to ask the question: Am I supposed to push through this… or take a pause? After a rough few weeks filled with unexpected challenges and emotional heaviness, I had to take a step back and ask myself what real self-love looks like. Is it pushing harder or allowing rest without guilt? If you’ve ever wrestled with knowing when to give yourself grace and when to rise up and take action, this episode is for you.

The Myth That Self-Love Is Always Soft
We often think that loving ourselves means slowing down, being gentle, or giving grace and sometimes it does. But real self-love requires discernment. It’s knowing when to be tender and when to be tough. Some days, self-love looks like getting up early, following through, and keeping your commitments. Other days, it’s recognizing your limits, putting something down, and saying, “Not today.” True growth happens when we can tell the difference.

The Power of Discernment
Discernment is built through awareness. It’s learning to notice when you’re avoiding something out of fear or fatigue versus when your body and mind are truly asking for rest. When you pay attention to those patterns, you start creating a roadmap for how to care for yourself better in the future. Knowing yourself is the work.

Taking Weight Out of the Backpack
Imagine your responsibilities, tasks, and emotional loads as a backpack you’ve been carrying around. Over time, you’ve probably added more than you realize. This episode walks you through a reflective exercise to identify what’s in your backpack and what you can take out. Because here’s the truth: not everything you’re carrying belongs to you. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is set something down.

Letting Go of the Guilt
Pausing doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It doesn’t erase your progress or make you less committed. The foundation you’ve built is still there waiting for you. The guilt that shows up when we slow down is often rooted in performance and people-pleasing, believing our worth is tied to output. But here’s the truth: rest is not quitting, it’s preparation for what’s next.

Take a moment to ask yourself:

“What does self-love look like for me today?”

Maybe it’s showing up and getting the thing done.
Maybe it’s putting it down and taking a breath.
Either way, you’re still growing.

You don’t have to earn your rest and you don’t have to apologize for your pace. 🧡

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• True self-love is discernment. Loving yourself doesn't always mean slowing down or pushing harder. It means knowing which one you need today. Real self-love is the wisdom to recognize when to push yourself and when to pause.

• Trust your inner compass. You are the only one who truly knows the difference between procrastination and protection. When you pause out of love, not avoidance, you build deeper trust with yourself.

• You can take the weight out of your own backpack. You don't have to carry every responsibility you've picked up. Some of what's heavy was never yours to begin with. Self-love sometimes sounds like “No,” and that's okay.

• Taking a pause doesn't mean you're quitting. Taking a break doesn't erase your progress or your passion. The foundation you've built is still there waiting for you, and growth happens in the stillness.

• Release the guilt you don't owe constant productivity to anyone, not even yourself. Rest is not failure, it's a strategy, and pause is part of the progress.

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