Episode 29: An Open Conversation About Mental Illness with Carrie Cantwell

From branding for big and small companies to designing everything you see on a film or TV set, Carrie has had quite the career. After working in the high-paced film industry for 16 years, she decided to leave and become a business art entrepreneur, specializing in illustration, surface pattern design, and education. Carrie has also gone on to write a memoir, called, “Daddy Issues,” where she shares about her experience with bipolar disorder. Carrie was diagnosed in 2002 after experiencing a major depression triggered by their father's suicide. Through her own diagnosis, Carrie was able to forgive her dad and understand that his behavior was not his fault. Carrie has seen bipolar disorder from both the inside and outside and acknowledges that it presents differently in everyone.

The Stigma Around Mental Illness
The experience of mental health challenges is often accompanied by a sense of shame and stigma. This can come from both external and internal factors, as well as assumptions made by others. The assumptions made about people with mental health challenges are that they are crazy, unpredictable, and unreliable. These assumptions can lead individuals to self-stigmatize and hide their diagnosis, particularly in professional settings. However, the conversation around mental health is becoming more open and accepted, with celebrities and public figures sharing their experiences.

Don’t Believe Everything You Think
Carrie and I discuss the common experience of having a story or narrative in our heads about what people have thought and said about us, particularly after both of our hospitalizations due to mental health struggles. Leaving a psych hospitalization can make you feel like an outsider, similar to leaving prison or the military, and not knowing what others are thinking or saying. Upon returning from the hospital, Carrie explains that she felt like a "hot potato" that nobody wanted to hold, and she also struggled with the transition back to civilian life. However, Carrie offers the mantra "Don't believe everything you think" as a reminder to challenge these thoughts and not let them dictate her actions or emotions.

Triggers
The journey of navigating bipolar disorder can be a tumultuous one, filled with unexpected twists and turns. For one person who has lived through the ups and downs of this illness, it's been a journey of learning to be mindful of the importance of self-care. Even after being diagnosed and medicated, Carrie found herself in an abusive marriage that ultimately triggered a suicide attempt, leading to her hospitalization. Carrie speaks on the importance of not only taking care of oneself but also being mindful of the potential triggers that can lead to episodes. She emphasizes that just because you may be medicated and seemingly “fixed” doesn't mean you're invincible. It's crucial to recognize that you have a special challenge and take care of yourself to avoid dangerous situations that could trigger an episode. She advocates for more intensive outpatient programs for individuals leaving the hospital to ensure a smoother transition and a more supportive environment. Ultimately, it's about finding a balance between not letting bipolar define you but also being mindful of the need for self-care to maintain stability.

Imposter Syndrome and Community
Carrie talks about her struggles with imposter syndrome, which is a common feeling of self-doubt and inadequacy despite success and accomplishments. She believes that this feeling is not only limited to people with bipolar disorder but also affects artists, as art is subjective, and there isn't a right answer. She realizes that overthinking everything can be detrimental and tries to remind herself not to overthink things and not to believe everything. Instead of doing art-related work, Carrie does something completely different, which hits a different part of her brain and helps her get out of her head. By distracting herself and getting out of her head, this helps her to not feed on her negative ruminations. Community and collaboration over competition, is also Carrie’s motto. She believes that artists should lift each other up and not view each other as competition. Community is also an incredibly useful tool to battling imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and gaining insight on what it is you may be “overthinking.”

Key Takeaways

• Discussions around mental health have certainly gotten easier. However, there is still a lot of work to be done for those who have experienced being hospitalized or diagnosed with a mental illness to feel safe sharing their story.

• Don’t believe everything you think.

• Don’t worry about what other people are thinking about you, because you don’t have control of it anyways.

• If you have been diagnosed with a mental illness, it is important to remember that you don't have to define yourself by your illness, but you do have a special challenge you need to pay attention to.

• Some strategies suggested to get out of your head when you are overthinking or feel yourself spiraling is to:
  -change up your activity
  -removing yourself from the source of where the anxiety is coming from
  -moving your body
  -having a conversation with someone to help you validate and sort through what you are feeling

• You are not alone. You are not alone in your diagnosis, in your self-doubt, and in your imposter syndrome.

• If you need extra help in your journey, there is no shame in seeking professional help.
  

Carrie Cantwell is an illustrator, surface designer and educator living in Atlanta, GA. After working as a graphic designer for film and television for 16 years, she left the entertainment industry to become an art entrepreneur. She's been featured on NPR's All Things Considered; TED; Peppermint Magazine; Surface Design News; The 60x60 Project; Raspberry Creek and Project Run & Play. She feels lucky to make a living creating the art she wants to see in the world. You can find Carrie through her website, carriecantwell.com, and her Instagram. Carrie teaches classes on pattern design and Spoonflower success on Skillshare, and she shares short tutorials on her YouTube channel. Her book—Daddy Issues: A Memoir—is available on Amazon.

Visit Carrie’s website at: www.carriecantwell.com and on instagram.