Episode 31: Avoiding Absolutes and Entering into Gratitude

The Six “Absolutes”
I have learned that using extreme absolute words such as "always," "never," "no one," "nothing," "everyone," and "everything" can have a harmful effect on the way we interpret situations and be detrimental to our mindset. As I was thinking about the affects of these words, I came to the conclusion that these words can snuff out hope. When we say things like "nothing is working" or "no one is going to sign up for my class," we are snuffing out any hope that something positive could happen in the future.

Victim or Survivor?
Hope is the dividing factor between victims and survivors. Victims have a limited mindset and tend to live life in absolutes with a focus on the past, whereas survivors have a forward-thinking mindset and are strategic in their actions. While it's natural to have a "pity party" and feel all of our emotions, we must eventually move forward with hope and optimism for the future. Hope is the hand that pulls us out of our pity party and helps us persevere through tough times. By changing our language and mindset, we can infuse more hope into our lives and ultimately change our belief system. Living life with absolutes can be exhausting, and it's important to be intentional about how we think and talk about our circumstances. By recognizing when we use extreme absolute words, we can diagnose whether we are having a limiting mindset and living in the “victim camp” or being forward-thinking and living in the “survivor camp.”

Be Your Own Tattletale
In order to be more hopeful and optimistic, it's important to pay attention to the language we use, both in our thoughts and in our speech. This means catching ourselves (and being our own tattletale) when we use absolute words like "never" or "always.” By changing the language we use and removing absolutes, we can reframe our circumstances in a more realistic and less paralyzing way. For example, instead of saying "going on Instagram Live is always awkward for me," we can say "going on Instagram Live is awkward for me right now." This small change removes the absolute and gives me hope that I can improve and feel less awkward in the future. By consistently catching ourselves and rephrasing our language, we can develop a more natural tendency towards hope and positivity, which can help us to be more encouraging and less limiting in our beliefs and actions.

The Power of Gratitude
Gratitude is a simple act that has exponential effects on our mindset, helps instill hope, and give us a fresh perspective. Gratitude can reframe our thoughts, highlighting the positive aspects of our lives and reducing negative feelings such as discontentment. It can also shift our awareness, making us notice what is working in our lives before dwelling on what we lack or desire. Gratitude has been shown to improve mental health, increase optimism, and reduce stress and depression. The benefits of gratitude can be seen in the simplest things, such as being thankful for the sun, music, coffee, or blue skies. When we think about the absence of these things, we realize how grateful we should be for them. Gratitude does not leave any room for discontentment or negative language. Therefore, it is essential to practice gratitude regularly and be mindful of our thoughts and words.

You can start by writing down five things we are grateful for every day, by using this FREE Gratitude Journal I made you.

Angeles Aryan's quote from her book "Living in Gratitude" perfectly sums up the importance of gratitude in our lives. “We each have the ability to shift our awareness to one of grateful seeing—noticing first what is working in our lives before dwelling on what we lack or desire but have not yet attained, or on our challenges or burdens.”

Key Takeaways:

• Using absolute words can be pretty detrimental to our mindset.

• Six absolute words that we can catch ourselves using are: Always, Never, No one,Nothing, Everyone, and Everything

• Using absolutes in our language, ultimately snuffs out hope. 

• When we change our language and can infuse more hope into our lives that ultimately helps us with perseverance.

• Catch yourself when you are hearing yourself use extremes and absolutes. See if you can rephrase your sentence to be more realistic. 

• Turn to gratitude to reframe your mindset, instill hope, and  give you a fresh perspective.
  
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