Episode 59: The Plague of the 3 P’s-Perfectionism, Performance, and Productivity
In the midst of life changes, transitions, and mounting pressure, I've been struggling to extend some much-needed grace to myself. It got me wondering: "Why am I so relentlessly tough on myself? What's really going on here?" As I pondered this something clicked – the source of all this pressure boils down to three 'P' words: perfectionism, performance, and productivity.
These three culprits, perfectionism, performance, and productivity, have conspired to create an additional 'P' in my life – pressure. The relentless pursuit of these ideals leaves no room for self-compassion because it's impossible to be kind to oneself when constantly striving for perfection, peak performance, and unwavering productivity.
Deep Roots
I've coined the phrase "unprooting limiting beliefs" because I genuinely believe that most of the time our mindset issues lie beneath the surface with deep roots, often stemming from our early years. As I reflected on my life, it became clear that perfectionism, performance, and productivity have very deep roots in my past. They might be familiar to you too if you dig deep into your own history. Understanding that these traits have deep roots has allowed me to be curious and ask questions. Why did I feel the need to excel in these areas? What was I really seeking? Painfully, I realized that beneath it all, I was seeking love, affirmation, and a sense of being seen. It's a hard truth to acknowledge, but it's essential to recognize these underlying motivations. I'm sharing this because I believe many of us are seeking something profound through our pursuits, and it's worth exploring.
Ways I Am Combating the 3 Ps
Journaling has been a game-changer for me. Writing things down and processing your thoughts, even if they remain on paper, can help you understand why you are feeling pressure and what's really going on inside your mind.
Often, we're so caught up in the day-to-day that we don't realize the cumulative effect of everything on our plate. When we take a step back and jot down all the things causing stress, envy, or pressure, it's eye-opening. When we zoom out and see this list, we can recognize the weight of what we are carrying, and this helps us to extend grace to ourselves.
Reprioritizing things in your life can help lift a load off your shoulders. We can ask ourselves whether the priorities are internal or external. Are you imposing these priorities on yourself, or is someone else expecting them from you? Asking these questions can help you cross off things that may seem important but aren't truly necessary. It's liberating to let go of tasks that don't need immediate attention.
Squash perfectionism by adopting the mantra "done is better than perfect." Often we are the ones setting impossibly high standards for ourselves.
Remember that your value is not based on your performance or productivity. This realization is a powerful one. It's easy for us creatives and small business owners to feel inadequate if we haven't achieved certain levels of success or recognition. However, reminding yourself that if everything were to vanish tomorrow, your value in the world would remain unchanged.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
The Plague of the three P's that I refer to are Perfectionism, Performance, and Productivity, which can create immense pressure and negatively impact your mental health.
It’s important to see how far rooted these traits can be. Often these traits can have deep roots in childhood experiences and even be connected to a deep desire for love, affirmation, and recognition.
Regular journaling can help gain clarity and process complex emotions and pressures. It allows you to verbalize your thoughts and feelings, even if you don't share them with others
Taking a step back and examining all the factors contributing to your stress and pressure can lead to greater self-compassion. It can help you realize that you might be expecting too much of yourself.
Evaluating what truly needs to be a priority in your life, distinguishing between external and internal pressures, and asking who is setting the standard can help you eliminate unnecessary stressors.
Embracing the idea that "done is better than perfect" can help you let go of unrealistic expectations and perfectionism.
Recognizing that your value is not determined by your performance or productivity is crucial for self-worth and mental well-being. Your value is not tied to external achievements.
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