Episode 81: Combating the Shame of False Starts and Getting Up Again
Today, we're delving deep into the challenges creatives face when overcoming false starts. In this episode, I'll be sharing personal anecdotes from my own journey. Including, the highs and lows of restarting my personal Instagram account, venturing into surface pattern design, and navigating platforms like Patreon and Skillshare. These real-world examples not only shed light on the hurdles we encounter but also illuminate the factors that contribute to false starts in our creative endeavors.
Navigating False Starts
First we explore candid stories about navigating false starts and factors that can contribute to them. Some of the factors that we discuss are grappling with unrealistic expectations, timing of creative projects, imposter syndrome, and the juggling of competing priorities. Reflecting on these experiences helps us gain a deeper understanding of the barriers that often affect our creative pursuits.
False Starts and Shame
Moving on to the intertwined theme of false starts and shame, we unpack the paralyzing effect that shame can have on our creative processes. Drawing insights from Brene Brown's research, we discuss how shame shapes our perceptions and impacts our ability to move past setbacks. I share examples from my own journey and encourage you to join me in recognizing and addressing the role of shame in our creative journeys.
Embracing Growth
As we explore these themes, we also discuss practical strategies for embracing growth and resilience. This includes identifying the root causes of shame, reshaping our internal dialogue, embracing second chances, seeking support from our communities, and practicing forgiveness. These tools help us to navigate false starts and cultivate a mindset of self-compassion.
Be sure to check out the downloadable worksheet accompanying this episode. It is designed to facilitate deeper introspection and guide you in taking tangible steps toward embracing vulnerability and resilience in your creative endeavors. Together, let's embrace the challenges, learn from setbacks, and continue creating amazing things on our creative paths.
Resources:
Brene Brown’s Listening to Shame TedTalk : “Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior… Guilt [says] I’m sorry. I made a mistake. Shame [says] I’m sorry. I am a mistake.”
Dr. Ivan Joseph: “False Starts Lead to Great Second Chances”
https://www.drivanjoseph.com/blog/false-starts-lead-to-great-second-chances#:~:text=Try%20to%20take%20the%20time,your%20people%20or%20your%20method.v
KEY TAKEAWAYS
False starts are unsuccessful attempts to begin something, characterized by a desire to restart and try again, unlike quitting.
Factors contributing to false starts include unrealistic expectations, timing issues,internal mindset struggles, lack of prioritization, and inadequate preparation.
Shame following false starts leads to isolation, avoidance of risks, internal conflict, and negative self-perceptions.
The difference between shame and guilt is that deep-rooted shame affects one's self-identity.
Tools to use to move forward after false starts:
Reflect on the source of shame and the beliefs about oneself stemming from the false start.
Identify and challenge negative self-talk.
Recognize that past experiences don't define future potential.
Seek support from the community, family, and friends.
Use forgiveness statements to address and release the shame.
